Sunday, 24 January 2010

too busy for this cancer lark!

Had the third chemo session on Wednesday last which went better than the previous one I thought. Just got the hang of all this when it's time to change - the next three sessions are the T part of the FEC-T treatment which is apparently less sicky and nauseous and more limb-achey and tiredness orientated. Lost my enthusiasm for the steroids now so I'm hoping I can come off them for this next lot as they were mainly used to control sickness. Could do with looking less moon-faced and perhaps even losing a bit of weight...

The great thing has been feeling like once the few days of post-chemo are over I am able to get back to some of the stuff I was doing after I left work and before I was so rudely interrupted by all this. That happened last time and I feel this week is going to be the same again hopefully, so have been ploughing through some of my backlogs, thinking about how to earn a crust sometime in the not too distant future when this is all over and even looking at courses I might do - food policy is taking my fancy at the moment (anything to do with food really is no surprise!).

The next things to consider, which I need to find out about, are the possibility of them "switching off" my ovaries to reduce the hormonal stimulus to the cancer and what the radiotherapy will entail (apart from having to go every single day to Sutton for several weeks!). I think fatigue figures fairly large for that stage too. So I am feeling a lot brighter than I was at New Year, will be investigating a few things at the Breast Cancer Haven in Fulham but am otherwise settling into a bit of a "sod-off cancer I was busy doing something else" resentment patch. Which is feeling rather healthy to me!

The other thing I will be following up is the post-surgery stuff. That's because it really is still quite weird, this artificial breast thing. For all I am genuinely amazed and grateful to have a reconstruction that (most importantly) makes me look the same as before to the world at large, even to the extent of enabling me to wear clothes that show a normal cleavage, it is still not a real breast and takes a bit of getting used to in some ways. For example coughing feels really annoyingly tight across where I really am behind the implant; sometimes when I move I can see where the breast tissue has gone from and it really is skin flat to me around the implant; the fact that I have a faint "ghost nerve" sensation in my back where the muscle flap came from if I touch the reconstructed area. All very weird. Not complaining, merely observing...would still recommend having it done at the same time as the mastectomy, as the benefits far outweigh all the above.

And I'm well up for coffee/lunch or visits as normal now till the next session - will be out with both Jil and Karen for coffees next week and had a lovely flying visit from my bros and sister-in-law this morning. All very enjoyable and keeps me pecker up! Next chemo scheduled for Feb 10 so anytime before then is fine.

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