Monday, 15 February 2010

oak, ash, hazel, hawthorn and willow.

Those are the woods with protective powers and therefore the ones to touch. Clearly I was communing with MDF as I have, since the last rather optimistic entry, felt like I have been beaten up and am suffering from various organ failures. There is the unpleasant throbbing stabbing pain in the small of my back which I can't seem to find a position to get away from, in my lungs and in my back where the scar is, the Lanzarote landscape of ulcers in my mouth, the busting high blood-pressure head and the feeling that the pains are not so much flu-like that you can sleep through, more like being accidentally drafted into the percussion section of an orchestra where the musicians mistake your feet and ankles for their glockenspiel and keep hitting them. With flu you crawl into bed and sleep your way out of the aches and pains. This is so uncomfortable that you have to keep twitching away from the jabs and can't find a position to fall (and stay) asleep in. To quote Patsy in AbFab (which I have revisited recently) "I'm not happy".

The only way out of this has been to dose myself to the hilt with painkillers, so I don't feel as bad today. Not nice though, as you can feel this strange sensation of where the pain really is underneath the fug. I'm hoping this will wear off soon but will check with the chemo nurse this afternoon. :-( Not sure how I'm going to deal with eight more weeks of this if it's going to be unrelenting.

Other than that the kids and I are having a smashing week being exceptionally lazy and doing nought (they're out with Jennifer at the moment so they will expend some energy). We spent all day Tuesday lounging around watching the afore-mentioned AbFab and eating nothing but pancakes. Lucy didn't even manage to get out of her pyjamas. And as they went shopping on their own on Monday for our dinner and keep bringing me cups of tea I continue to feel very well looked after.

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